Fly Fashion

Kristen and I recently spent a day at the mall shopping for clothes, and as we got out of the elevator onto the second floor of Macy's I saw this in the distance.

Que instant heart failure!  Fly tyers stay calm because as I got closer I realized that this was just a fur coat that was made to look like millions of hackle feathers.  But before that realization I was in a heart pounding state of panic and torn between grabbing the entire rack and running, or Hulking out on the place and destroying everything before jumping through the ceiling to make my escape.  Some fashionista on the other side of the store would have her shopping interrupted by the sound of me screaming KLEIS SMASH!!!  followed by the sight of manikans shattering against walls, and me starring at her with glowing green eyes and mouth foaming.

I know for a fact that Im not the only flyfisher and tyer that has felt this rage at some point since the fad began.  It used to be that I would get mad when my thread broke during a crucial part of a tie.  Now I cant walk in a mall without pulling out what's left of my hair.  I suppose when my hair goes I can replace it with feather implants and I'll be trend setting with no worries.  Just make sure the hackle is yellow doctor my favorite Sesame Street character growing up was Big Bird.  

Then it occurred to me that fly tyers can turn this around on the ladies that are wiping clean fly shop walls by going into malls across America and buying any and all articles of clothing that have fur or feathers on it.  Seriously did you see that coat!?  You wouldn't  have to buy grizzly streamer fur ever again.  One $40 purchase and you're set for life.  Since we're shopping check out this little number...

   Or this...

Jackets like these would make great shad or sculpin imitations and the great thing is that you can find them in many different colors fellow tyers.  Not big on tying streamers?  Check out our selection of dubbing...

Obviously there is more dubbing than you could shake your tail-feathers at.  What if I want to tie a chamois leech? Then check out this purse..

Who knew that a fun filled day of shopping at the mall would turn into putting checks on a fly tying list?  And what does that say for my level of troutbummery?  Now Im making up words.  This is getting nutty.

Any fly tyer worth their salt has spent at least some time in a craft store looking for crazy new materials that will give them an edge.  I say forget the craft stores!  Go to Kohls.  Some day you might see John Barr or Pat Dorsey sorting through the ladies section looking for inspiration for their next stonefly.  All joking aside, tyers looking to get back at the "chicken heads" buying up hackle should seriously consider this very viable source for great tying materials and lets take back our industry!  In the meantime I leave you with this video of a trend setter wearing a giant plume of feathers great for tying steelhead patterns.